I had it all. I finally got the job that I always wanted. I was able to contribute a lot, people were seeking my opinion, and that made me feel important. This was what I wanted, to have a voice and be heard, and initiate change.
But as days passed, it gradually felt like I was suddenly just forcing myself towards these responsibilities. I walk along the workstations but I feel this hostility from the stares that I'm getting. It somehow made me feel like I was the mad man that everyone despised.
I wanted inspiration, and I keep getting them but I always end up facing the reality.
I was in the position where I cannot keep everyone happy.
When they speak with me, it's sometimes because we have to say goodbye. The first time that I meet them, it's always because of a difficult situation.
Heavy hearts, doubtful minds, wounded souls.
As much as I try to keep things light, it always ends the same.
People were always a delight, but once they understand what it is that you do, they keep their distance, and they do not even try to open up anymore.
I'm wounded, I'm heartbroken, and that cannot be mended by anyone.
Only time can save me. This was when I had to cut the line.
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Changes
It's been a long time since I last wrote. It's really nice that I've finally learned to let go of all the bitterness and hate that I felt. I still love him tho. But that's fine. I don't really see it happening anyway.
As for me, I'm currently focusing on work. I need to step up a bit. I feel like I've been disappointing my boss. I hope that I can do better.
I'm also looking forward to our family bonding in Boracay this April 21. I'm really excited for it. :)
I've not yet prepared for this. I need to buy things like bag and swimsuit.
Do you guys have a suggestion?
Just let me know.
Thanks guys! :)
As for me, I'm currently focusing on work. I need to step up a bit. I feel like I've been disappointing my boss. I hope that I can do better.
I'm also looking forward to our family bonding in Boracay this April 21. I'm really excited for it. :)
I've not yet prepared for this. I need to buy things like bag and swimsuit.
Do you guys have a suggestion?
Just let me know.
Thanks guys! :)
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Blogging my love for you
I should be mad at you, and I was. I was mad for one day. Then I loved you again. How do I forget you? I know I've been hurt a lot. And still I kept loving you in spite of everything that has happened. I know you got hurt too and you didn't give up on me. Til you decided that you needed time for yourself. What do I do? Now, we're not together. You seem to be doing just fine. But me? No, I'm not fine at all. I don't even know where to begin.
See, first when we started going out again, I know my personality was a bit hard to handle, mainly because I got used to being by myself and I'm moody, I haven't been in a relationship in about a year when we started seeing each other again. You still pursued me, you showed me how much you cared and loved me. Time passed and I've learned to be fair, and show my love for you. We both were really inlove, those were the fun days that I wish I could get back to.
But now, look us. We don't even know how to handle each other anymore.
Even if we are like this, something will never change. That is my love for you.
Whatever happens with our time apart. I will always be loving you.
See, first when we started going out again, I know my personality was a bit hard to handle, mainly because I got used to being by myself and I'm moody, I haven't been in a relationship in about a year when we started seeing each other again. You still pursued me, you showed me how much you cared and loved me. Time passed and I've learned to be fair, and show my love for you. We both were really inlove, those were the fun days that I wish I could get back to.
But now, look us. We don't even know how to handle each other anymore.
Even if we are like this, something will never change. That is my love for you.
Whatever happens with our time apart. I will always be loving you.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
What went wrong?
Now that is the question that we ask ourselves every time there's a failed relationship.
Even though it seemed that we have given everything, and almost anything just to keep our partners happy something goes horribly wrong in the relationship and you just don't understand what happened. For all of you lovers and heartbroken people out there, I feel ya'. Here are some of the reasons why people fail in a relationship:
1. Your partner is no longer happy with you.
Sometimes he or she just doesn't know how to tell you how one really feels. Because your partner doesn't one to hurt your feelings. So what's going to happen is, he's gonna get cold and you will notice that something's different about him. About the way he treats you. Therefore you are left heartbroken upon learning about his real feelings.
2. He/She is not contented.
Now this I can relate to. Sometimes we think that everything's is okay until it hits you in the head. This situation can lead your partner to CHEAT on you. He/She will look for that certain person where he/she can do some playtime Someone he/she can fool around with. Nothing too serious, he/she just wants to feel that someone else can still want him.
3. Lies
Everybody lies. But when you're in a relationship, HONESTY is very important. Because without HONESTY how can we ever TRUST our partners right? We trust that they won't hurt us, that they will remain faithful to us, and that they will tell us everything so we can fix whatever it is that needs fixing. Even if it hurts the other person it's better to just tell them upfront than telling a lie just to avoid him/her from getting hurt.
4. Change
People keep changing and growing. And sometimes that becomes the problem. When the two of you becomes total stranger while in a relationship. You suddenly want different things, and you just don't seem to be on the right page with the other. Some people can make this work, but often times this doesn't work at all.
5. He/She has fallen inlove with someone else
I know this happens in the movies, but it also happens in real life. It just happens and even you can't prevent it from happening. Whether he falls inlove with your bestfriend, with your sister, cousin or just someone you know, situations like this still occur. It's simply because they have more connection than you two. Or if you two are on a rough patch and this third person becomes the "shoulder to lean on" that's when it happens.
--
These are some of the things that fails a relationship. We have to be strong for ourselves. At the end of the day, you still choose who to love. Everything'a CHOICE. So be wise enough to choose which path you want to take on.
Even though it seemed that we have given everything, and almost anything just to keep our partners happy something goes horribly wrong in the relationship and you just don't understand what happened. For all of you lovers and heartbroken people out there, I feel ya'. Here are some of the reasons why people fail in a relationship:
1. Your partner is no longer happy with you.
Sometimes he or she just doesn't know how to tell you how one really feels. Because your partner doesn't one to hurt your feelings. So what's going to happen is, he's gonna get cold and you will notice that something's different about him. About the way he treats you. Therefore you are left heartbroken upon learning about his real feelings.
2. He/She is not contented.
Now this I can relate to. Sometimes we think that everything's is okay until it hits you in the head. This situation can lead your partner to CHEAT on you. He/She will look for that certain person where he/she can do some playtime Someone he/she can fool around with. Nothing too serious, he/she just wants to feel that someone else can still want him.
3. Lies
Everybody lies. But when you're in a relationship, HONESTY is very important. Because without HONESTY how can we ever TRUST our partners right? We trust that they won't hurt us, that they will remain faithful to us, and that they will tell us everything so we can fix whatever it is that needs fixing. Even if it hurts the other person it's better to just tell them upfront than telling a lie just to avoid him/her from getting hurt.
4. Change
People keep changing and growing. And sometimes that becomes the problem. When the two of you becomes total stranger while in a relationship. You suddenly want different things, and you just don't seem to be on the right page with the other. Some people can make this work, but often times this doesn't work at all.
5. He/She has fallen inlove with someone else
I know this happens in the movies, but it also happens in real life. It just happens and even you can't prevent it from happening. Whether he falls inlove with your bestfriend, with your sister, cousin or just someone you know, situations like this still occur. It's simply because they have more connection than you two. Or if you two are on a rough patch and this third person becomes the "shoulder to lean on" that's when it happens.
--
These are some of the things that fails a relationship. We have to be strong for ourselves. At the end of the day, you still choose who to love. Everything'a CHOICE. So be wise enough to choose which path you want to take on.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Weekend Getaway
I had a really nice weekend, spent it with my boyfriend and we really enjoyed ourselves.
Although we had not anticipated the extra expenses for transportation, we still managed to have a really good time.
On our first night we met with my uncle and auntie who was celebrating their anniversary in Boracay. We checked-in at 11:00 pm and I was ready to take some rest. But no, my auntie was texting me to meet with them by the beach. Now here's the funny part, our hotel was already by the beach, Bulabog Beach to be specific. So she was telling me where they were, while talking over the phone I hear music and noise. So yeah me and my boyfriend (JP) walked by the beach and it was really quiet, no one was partying. Turns out, they were on the other side, on the other beach side where the party is. We manage to find them anyway after a couple of minutes of walking to I don't know where. Hahaha!
We got back to the hotel at around 3:00 am and I was really tired already.
Here's a picture of us finally meeting. :) a bit blurry tho.
So the next morning, we were really excited to do activities and be at the beach, That was the same day that my auntie and uncle is flying back to manila, but it was in the afternoon so we still had time to spend together. Anyway, first is breakfast. FREE breakfast. Yay! :) Sitting by the beach with the wind blowing our hair. Took a nice selfie before eating.
There's me and JP. :)
After breakfast we immediately walked to get to the other side, to the Famous White Beach.
We met manong who offered a Paddle Boarding activity. Since we don't know what to do yet, we gave that a try. And it was fun. :) Balance is all it takes. I left the paddling to JP and the sitting to me. LOL.
For lunch, we again met with my auntie and uncle. They paid for our lunch, which of course is a really nice and a bit embarrassing. Hahaha!
We also did Island Hopping which includes Cliff Diving (which I have a video of), Snorkeling, Fish Feeding. When we finally got back to Station 2, we didn't have the energy to do more so we decided to head back the hotel to rest a little. So basically what happened was I fell asleep at 6:00 pm and JP was waking me up at 8:00 pm to eat dinner but I didn't get up so he slept beside me, next thing I knew it was already 4:00 am. So no alcohol drinking on that night.
And I manage to capture this beautiful view.
It was the nicest sunrise I've ever seen. :) (JP was still sleeping).
I felt excited again, knowing that some of the tourists are already awake so therefore I woke JP up. :)
Breakfast again. Then more Paddle Boarding and Swimming.
Then at 1:00 pm we were already preparing to head back to Manila. It was the nicest vacation ever. Short but memorable. Especially because it was our first travel together. And I know there's more to come. :)
Although we had not anticipated the extra expenses for transportation, we still managed to have a really good time.
On our first night we met with my uncle and auntie who was celebrating their anniversary in Boracay. We checked-in at 11:00 pm and I was ready to take some rest. But no, my auntie was texting me to meet with them by the beach. Now here's the funny part, our hotel was already by the beach, Bulabog Beach to be specific. So she was telling me where they were, while talking over the phone I hear music and noise. So yeah me and my boyfriend (JP) walked by the beach and it was really quiet, no one was partying. Turns out, they were on the other side, on the other beach side where the party is. We manage to find them anyway after a couple of minutes of walking to I don't know where. Hahaha!
We got back to the hotel at around 3:00 am and I was really tired already.
Here's a picture of us finally meeting. :) a bit blurry tho.
So the next morning, we were really excited to do activities and be at the beach, That was the same day that my auntie and uncle is flying back to manila, but it was in the afternoon so we still had time to spend together. Anyway, first is breakfast. FREE breakfast. Yay! :) Sitting by the beach with the wind blowing our hair. Took a nice selfie before eating.
There's me and JP. :)
After breakfast we immediately walked to get to the other side, to the Famous White Beach.
We met manong who offered a Paddle Boarding activity. Since we don't know what to do yet, we gave that a try. And it was fun. :) Balance is all it takes. I left the paddling to JP and the sitting to me. LOL.
For lunch, we again met with my auntie and uncle. They paid for our lunch, which of course is a really nice and a bit embarrassing. Hahaha!
We also did Island Hopping which includes Cliff Diving (which I have a video of), Snorkeling, Fish Feeding. When we finally got back to Station 2, we didn't have the energy to do more so we decided to head back the hotel to rest a little. So basically what happened was I fell asleep at 6:00 pm and JP was waking me up at 8:00 pm to eat dinner but I didn't get up so he slept beside me, next thing I knew it was already 4:00 am. So no alcohol drinking on that night.
And I manage to capture this beautiful view.
It was the nicest sunrise I've ever seen. :) (JP was still sleeping).
I felt excited again, knowing that some of the tourists are already awake so therefore I woke JP up. :)
Breakfast again. Then more Paddle Boarding and Swimming.
Then at 1:00 pm we were already preparing to head back to Manila. It was the nicest vacation ever. Short but memorable. Especially because it was our first travel together. And I know there's more to come. :)
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Words Spoken By Distance
I could still feel him in my arms. Laughter was the sweet sound our ears could hear.
Parting ways was the last thing we wanted. Love was present, in every touch, in every glance.
The skies were clouding all our troubles away, everything felt perfect for the first time.
Lost in each others eyes, there we were travelling in each others thoughts.
Swimming through the happiness of each others company, forgetting everything else.
Then time had passed. Bags were packed. And I knew the shadow I've seen last night was the last.
It'll take a number of days til I see that friendly smile again. I knew it, and it made me miss him.
Love sent thru messages were not enough to make him feel everything my heart was ready to tell.
Phone calls did not suffice and romance from afar made me think of the times I had holding his hand.
And now I know, by the time I hold him again, our love will be written in the sand.
It will never be forgotten, and will never be replaced.
Monday, August 24, 2015
A Different Perspective
Success? Well ain't it hard to reach?
I have tried to look for things that would make me feel successful. I have posted cover songs, just to see if people will actually listen to it. I've tried making my own Wattpad story, wondering if people will even be interested with the scenes going on inside my head. I have tried doing dubsmash videos making myself look like a complete fool, because it's fun. I did a guitar tutorial of a song that I really liked, to see if someone would comment on it and say "thank you for posting this it really helped me".. something like that.
It doesn't end there, I posted a couple of lip-sync videos, and someone actually tried to contact me. Asking me to submit one of my videos to their contest and it felt nice.
One of my favorites is when I tried doing a lyric video, which had a nice number of views and a person commenting that it was his favorite song.
See how many times I TRIED. That's how we get success, you don't have to be rich in order for you to say that you're successful. As long as what you're doing makes you happy, and you share a piece of you to the world, that is a priceless kind of success. Never get TIRED. (See what I did there?) :)
Life's too short to not have fun, be adventurous, test your confidence. Do something random. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, or it doesn't involve anything bad, you go for it. Don't stop. Keep walking, keep rocking. :)
I have tried to look for things that would make me feel successful. I have posted cover songs, just to see if people will actually listen to it. I've tried making my own Wattpad story, wondering if people will even be interested with the scenes going on inside my head. I have tried doing dubsmash videos making myself look like a complete fool, because it's fun. I did a guitar tutorial of a song that I really liked, to see if someone would comment on it and say "thank you for posting this it really helped me".. something like that.
It doesn't end there, I posted a couple of lip-sync videos, and someone actually tried to contact me. Asking me to submit one of my videos to their contest and it felt nice.
One of my favorites is when I tried doing a lyric video, which had a nice number of views and a person commenting that it was his favorite song.
See how many times I TRIED. That's how we get success, you don't have to be rich in order for you to say that you're successful. As long as what you're doing makes you happy, and you share a piece of you to the world, that is a priceless kind of success. Never get TIRED. (See what I did there?) :)
Life's too short to not have fun, be adventurous, test your confidence. Do something random. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, or it doesn't involve anything bad, you go for it. Don't stop. Keep walking, keep rocking. :)
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